I’ve Got a Guy

“I’ve got a guy.” It’s impossible to know how many times these words came out of Mark’s mouth but I think it’s likely he said them countless times each day to anyone and everyone. Let me translate: “I’ve got a guy.” = “Do you need something? Let me help.” Mark had a guy for everything. Do you need your carpets cleaned? Mark had a guy for that. Kitchen in need of updating? Mark had the perfect person for you. Need new tires for your car? Mark will drive you across town to his guy. Now, given my expertise in foreign languages, I am most certainly aware that one can’t simply rely on a single translation for such a facetiously simple phrase. Over the years, I learned to speak Mark Harris so well, that I came to understand that “I’ve got a guy,” could also mean, “You don’t even know what you’re missing out on but let me tell you how freaskishly amazing this is, and…by the way… I can get a crazy amazing deal on it for you too.” Do you like jerseys? Mark had a guy for that. Want to see the new Oscar movies before you watch the academy awards? No worries, Mark had the hook-up. And he’d drive all the way to Racine to get them for you.