IELEV8

Today would be your 49th birthday. And I just can’t help but feel like you should be here. 

You should be here, living it up for one last year of your 40s and partying tonight, like it’s 1999. You certainly were always game for a fab celebration, especially one where you were the center of attention and life of the party. 

You should be here, cheering on Coop and Lucia from the sidelines, the number one fan at their games. You’d surely have front row seats, eyes glistening, as you marvel at your girls, performing on stage. 

You should be here, to offer your words of wisdom and sage advice when one of the kids needs it most. I imagine the weight of your words would most certainly leave a lasting impression. After all, you were a middle school principal and were frequently surrounded by teenagers who, remarkably, actually thought you were cool. 

You should be here, to celebrate with us through the triumphs and to lift us up with your silly voices and one line zingers when we’re feeling down.   On the really hard days and the good ones too and all the days in between, we miss you, Mark.

You. Should. Be. Here. And while you’re gone from this earth, we’re immersed in an absolute awareness of both your absence and your presence. Some days, the weight of your loss is unbearable and I get completely stuck in the space between yesterday and today. Yet, on other days, I’m deeply grateful for the reminders of you that you’ve left behind, in my home, in my head, in my heart.

My goodness, I miss you, and I wish you could be here, to celebrate the last year of your 40s with your three little birds and me. But instead, we went to the beach without you, just as we do each year on your birthday. Like teardrops rising rather than falling, we sent up our wishes and hopes and dreams to you in heaven and we sure hope that somehow, magically, you feel them too. ❤️

* I’ve left out the photos of Cooper & Lucia’s messages since they’ve asked for them to remain private. 💙