Sweet 16

This past Saturday, Cooper, Lucia, Cece and I had the honor of representing Mark alongside his teammates from the 1993-94 Marquette Men’s Basketball team as they were honored for their successes that season which included the program’s first-ever Great Midwest Conference title and a trip to the Sweet 16.

It was a bittersweet experience and I am still processing the mix of emotions that accompany such a unique honor. Mark should be here. He should have been the one standing on the court with that team, sharing in the brotherhood and pride that this collective achievement is such an integral piece of Marquette history. Mark would have soaked up every moment full of camaraderie, laughter, connection and gratitude. I wish more than anything that he could have experienced that.

While it was quite a bit outside my comfort zone to hang with these Marquette legends, ranging from some of whom I’ve never met before to those whose weddings I attended with Mark, but haven’t seen in over a decade, I did it for the sake of my children, who were only 6, 5 and 2 when we lost Mark. I cherish every opportunity to provide them with opportunities to learn more about their dad so that they piece together the parts of him that made up the truly special man, husband, father, friend and teammate that he was.

In speaking to Mark’s teammates and coaches over the weekend, I was reminded of some things that I already knew about his time at Marquette, but I also learned some details that I hadn’t known before. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he told me about the day he learned that he had made the team and would walk-on as a sophomore to a Division 1 NCAA team after a grueling tryout process. His eyes glimmered with pride, the same way my kids’ do when they are telling me a story that makes them smile.

When you lose your person, all that’s left are the memories, stories and photos. These intangibles are what help them live on in our hearts. So for years it has bothered me that I couldn’t remember “the story” of him earning his spot on the Marquette Basketball team well enough to retell it to my children. I’ve asked some of his closest friends if he ever told them this story, and unfortunately, no one could recall. Therefore, I feel very fortunate to have had conversations this weekend that helped me fill in some important gaps about how Mark came to be part of this team.

Mark was an undersized guard even for high school standards. However, he was also freakishly athletic and evidently, his dunking ability for his size frequently turned some heads. I’ve heard he also had a pretty incredible baseline hanging jumper. Yet, he certainly wasn’t a star player, even in high school. He was a late bloomer who finally reached 5’ 8” tall by the summer after his freshman year of college. Mark was fiercely competitive, a trait that quickly became known by all who entered the rec center at Marquette during the ‘92-’93 school year. Mark practically lived in that gym. Back then, some members of the team and coaches would also hang out and play pick up games there on occasion, so at some point, Mark’s skills, hard work, and competitive spirit caught some attention. Additionally, Mark’s high school coach, Kent Kroupa, had a connection with Kevin O’Neill, who was Marquette’s head coach at the time. One week after all of the team photos were taken for the 1993-94 media guide, Will Gates had to leave the team suddenly for personal reasons. O’Neill reached out to Kroupa who had worked with him in summer camps. He asked him if he knew of any players who could fill the spot vacated by Gates. He was looking for a leader, academically and athletically, who rarely would see any minutes on the court since Tony Miller was averaging about 38 minutes per game, but would work hard in practice and motivate the other players during drills. Coach Kroupa said, “Mark Harris is one of the best players and leaders to ever play for me at Whitnall High School. No one worked harder and smarter than Mark. He was a talented leader who fully understood his role as point guard. He always understood the moment and what was needed of him for the team to be successful.” So O’Neill met Mark, and after his intense tryout, the rest is history. Mark walked on and earned the respect of his teammates day in and out as one of the hardest working members of his team.

As I spoke with Mark’s teammates this weekend, some common themes emerged. Robb Logtermannm shared that Mark was an incredible teammate and friend as well as an integral part of the team’s success. His friend, Aaron Hutchins, Ohio’s 1994 Mr. Basketball and a Marquette star point guard and fan favorite in the 90s, described Mark’s impact behind the scenes. “I hope you know Mark was a special guy and will never be forgotten. He made us work so much harder. Mark liked to set the bar high at whatever he did. He was an overachiever and a believer that you can do anything you wanted to do. Mark never quit. He was the first one in the gym and the last one to leave. Played the least but played the most significant role on our team as our Warrior Brother.” His dear friend Anthony Pieper, told me, “Mark was my glue.” Mark was in Anthony’s wedding, which we attended together when we were first married, before having children. How truly special it was to see Cooper sitting courtside with Pieper while watching Marquette battle Xavier on Saturday. That sight filled my heart.

Among this group of giants and legends, Mark may have appeared to be “the little guy.” However, his college stats tell an incomplete story of his impact and the legacy he leaves behind is larger than life. While some contributions are measured in points, assists, steals and blocks, Mark’s indelible imprint is measured in days, months and years of hard work behind the scenes all with the goal of helping others, a theme that extended beyond basketball.

When I met Mark in the summer of 2002 he was working at Marquette as a counselor in the Educational Opportunities Program (EOP), the same program of which he was a part of as an undergraduate student in the 90s. Without EOP, he would not have been able to afford to attend college. He was raised by a single mother who drove a school bus for a living. He was so proud of her and of where he came from as a biracial kid living in Milwaukee’s Riverwest neighborhood who was bussed to the burbs for school. We had our second date on campus. I met him at his office and we walked to a Subway sandwich shop, with Mark telling me stories all afternoon about his friends, family and favorite parts of being an educator and working at Marquette. We talked about family, politics, life goals and baseball! I don’t think he even mentioned that he had been on the basketball team until weeks later. His focus at that time was working to help students who grew up just like he did, with parents who had never attended college or who came from nothing. He told me how he wanted to make a difference in the lives of kids who came from similar backgrounds, who perhaps wouldn’t have a shot at success without the guidance, mentorship and financial support that EOP offers. He excitedly told me that he was mentoring kids who had the potential to be doctors and lawyers and professors, or whatever they wanted to be, but they might not achieve those dreams without the added support from people like him. Just like in basketball, Mark devoted his life to putting in the work to give others a chance at achieving notable success. The countless lives he touched as an educator, mentor and administrator as well as the people who hold him in their hearts as one of their dearest friends tell the story of Mark’s genuine lasting legacy. On the walk back to his office, we stopped inside Gesu and Mark lit a candle, closed his eyes, and prayed.

I don’t recall exactly when Mark shared with me that he had been a member of the Marquette Men’s basketball team, but I will never forget the way his eyes lit up when he talked about it. Over the years, so many stories were told and retold and it became clear that his membership in that elite group was something he remembered with fondness and pride. We attended Marquette Basketball reunion events year after year, first as a married couple and then as a family. Memories of those events will forever hold a special place in my heart as they provided me with glimpses of Mark, the young man, before I met him.

I am so grateful that my children got to experience this portrait of their dad too. Thank you, Marquette Basketball, for this beautiful gift. 💙

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?'” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.